My name is Melissa and I am 32 years old and for at least 17 of those years I have been addicted to food.

I am 5 feet 8 inches tall and my weight is high, obscenely high, morbidly obese high….high enough that if I don’t do this weight loss thing right this time, I will very likely die before the next time.

I have had struggles with being overweight for as long as I can remember but things got drastically out of control during high school when a crap load of emotional drama occurred in my life and I turned to food for comfort.  I remember wholeheartedly believing that food was my friend and that food would not let me down no matter what and during my struggles with teen aged anxiety and depression food remained a constant friend and solace, someone I could rely on at all times and in all things.

Here’s the problem…

I got through those tough times, went to college, got a career, met a man who wanted to be with me despite my obesity (still shocks me to this very day), had not one but two children, AND….through all of that I didn’t stop letting food be my BFF.

In early March 2010 my weight peaked at it’s highest number ever (a number I’m still not able to say out loud or publicly but I’m hoping this blog inspires me to do so) and I found myself in a situation where I thought I was going to die.  After an extremely swollen leg and an elevated heart rate that landed me in the hospital where they treated me like a heart attack patient….I learned that i had a blood infection that was causing my symptoms and i was given a clean bill of health.  I listened as the doctor told me that I did not have diabetes, my heart was in tip top shape, my blood levels were all good….and in that moment as the doctor was speaking I knew that this was my time.  I decided then and there while armed with the knowledge that my body was still coping despite my obesity, that I would never find myself in this situation again.  I can not explain what came over me except that prior to hearing I simply had a small blood infections….I was 100% sure that they were going to tell me that this was it and I had finally eaten one potato chip too many.

On March 18th, 2010 I stepped into Jenny Craig and signed up with them as a first step.  I did not plan to be on Jenny Craig throughout the entire new way of living but it was a place to start and I felt comfortable letting someone else dictate what I should and shouldn’t eat at that time.  I planned to educate myself about the art of eating the right amount of food, the right kind of foods, and the right amount of calories so that I could ditch the Jenny Craig plan that is had cost me 600 bucks a month and take control of my eating habits to build the skills I need to be healthier.

I was able to successfully lose nearly 75 pounds with Jenny Craig but the cost of it was too taxing on our family and in the end I had to give it up and while I was able to maintain my weight loss for a short period of time – old habits crept back in and slowly I have gained back a good portion of the weight that I had lost – although thankfully not all of it.  As the weight started to creep back on and up I got my physician to make a referral for weight loss surgery and so this blog has evolved slowly from a diet blog to a journey towards weight loss surgery – I know weight loss surgery is not the right answer for everyone but it is the best answer for me.

I am tired of being a walking death sentence.

I am tired of little children commenting about “how fat that lady is’.

I am tired of having a BMI that is off the charts high.

I am tired of shopping in the plus sized stores.

I am tired of hearing that I have such a pretty face.

I am MORE than all of those things…..so much more and I’m going to prove it, with this blog and with all of you.

Sit right down and join me on this journey won’t you?